Friday, 10 April 2009

Married to the army

What should be said when you get permission from the CO to get married lol It is American so lots about being a single mother etc (they have 12 months tours and go once ever 3 years...) If you have time to read through it, it is quite funny ; ) If the Army wanted you to have a wife, it would have issued you one!

“Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army to witness this exchange of vows and love that these dedicated, loving people have for one another.

“Do you _____ take _____(who was once referred to as the ‘dependent’), as your lawfully wedding wife, to dwell together in so far as the Department of the Army will permit?”

“Wilt thou love her, comfort her via the Postal Service or email or over the telephone, make sure she knows where the post office, PX, clinic and the church are and what time she is scheduled to use the laundry room the day she arrives, wherever you are stationed?”

“Wilt thou attempt to tell her more than 24 hours in advance that you will be leaving for extended periods?!”

“Wilt thou remember this special day in the future and somehow try to telephone her on the anniversaries you are separated.”

Do you _____take ____ this soldier as thy wedded husband, knowing that he is depending upon you to be the perfect Army Wife, running the household as you see fit and being nice to the Commander’s Wife (even when it is hard to)?
Further, you understand that your life with your husband (little that you may have together) will not be normal, that you may have to explain to your children, that mothers do have husbands, that children do have daddies, and that the picture of the man on the refrigerator is not the milkman, but the same individual who tucks them in at 2200 hours, long after they are asleep. This soldier is their daddy, who loves then very, very much”

“Wilt thou wear the cuckold horns and act as mistress to his first commitment The Army and understand your time comes second to that of the armed forces?”

"Wilt thou love, respect and wait for him, preparing his favourite meals when he does come home and freezing them when he doesn’t? When he is gone wilt thou send him his favourite cookies and pictures of yourself and the children so he can remember what you look like? When you are separated on your anniversaries (which will happen more often than not) you will remember this special day and celebrate it on the closest day possible to the actual date. And last but not least, put on the outside of the door his ‘WELCOME HOME’ sign when he is due to arrive.”

“I,________, take thee, _______as my independent wife from 1900 to 0600 hours or as long as allowed by my Commanding Officer (subject to change without notice) for better or worse, earlier or later, near or far, and promise to look at the pictures you send me, maybe not when they get to me in the field, but before I turn out the lights. I will send letters if time permits, and if not, to some how, some way make the time.

“I,________, take thee, _______as my proud husband for every moment of the day. I understand I will be a mistress and at times a single mother, for better for worse, earlier or later, near or far, and promise to cook for you and keep your home comforting and acceptable for when ever you shall need it and to take any material stains from your person. I will write often and send trinkets when we are separated and when you are here tell you often how much you mean to me.

“I now pronounce you – married to The Army!”

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